Godly Powers

Patent no. US20070035812A1

In July 2005, Christopher Anthony Roller filed a patent at the US patent office to grant him the exclusive right to the use of godly powers on Earth.

The abstract reads as follows:

"Christopher Anthony Roller is a godly entity. “Granters” had been given my powers (acquired my powers) (via God probably). These “granters” have been receiving financial gain from godly powers. These “granters” may be using their powers without morals. Chris Roller wants exclusive right to the ethical use and financial gain in the use of godly powers on planet Earth. The design of godly-products have no constraints, just like any other invention, but the ethnic consideration of it's use will likely be based on a majority vote of a group, similar to law creation. The commission I require could range from 0-100% of product price, depending on the product's value and use."

The US patent office rejected the application because it was not specified how someone "ordinary skilled in the art" could use the patented godly powers and because the claimed invention of godly powers could be considered a naturally occuring phenemenon (which is not patentable). The application is now abandoned.

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Centrifugal Birth

Patent no. US3216423A

Giving birth strapped to a spinning bed was thought to be a solution to make giving birth easier in 1965. The patent was granted, but we hope it was never used on people.

The first claim reads as follows:

"Child delivery apparatus comprising a centrifuge, means for supporting said centrifuge for rotational movement about a vertical axis, means for holding the patient's body against dislodgement by the centrifugal forces created 8 in such rotational movement, with her body disposed radially of said vertical axis in proper attitude for delivery of the child and with her head located at or near said vertical axis, said holding means including means for securing the patient's body in place on said centrifuge, means for supporting the patient's limbs in child bearing position against the centrifugal forces, and means for supporting the abdomen against such forces, means connected to said supporting means for rotating said centrifuge, means contotrolling said rotating means to precisely control the rate of revolution of said centrifuge by said rotating means, and means for applying braking action to the revolving centrifuge."

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